No stitches, just platelets and will power
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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