THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
