I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
