It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
