I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
