i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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