Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
