I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My underwear smells like fireworks.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
