i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
