i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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