If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
