I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
