I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
