Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
