living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
