Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
