she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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