Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
