He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
