Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
