I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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