***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
