remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
