Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
