where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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