Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
