Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
