I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
