im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
