I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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