Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
