Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
