This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
