Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
