I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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