Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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