dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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