Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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