I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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