wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
nutella sex= disaster
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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