i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
