If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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