On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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