Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
