i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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