He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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