do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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