and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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