Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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