Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
