I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
