Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize