I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize