used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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