no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
