WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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