Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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