i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
