It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize