I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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