if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
