no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
