Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
